From Presents to Presence
A gentle invitation to approach the new year with mindfulness, compassion, and values.
As 2025 comes to a close, many of us begin thinking about resolutions and the ways we hope the new year will look different. We imagine January as a clean slate—a chance to reset, improve, and finally get things “right.” It’s easy to fall into the belief that once we fix what feels wrong, we’ll feel better.
Mainstream messages reinforce this: lose weight, be more productive, say yes to more plans, say no to more plans, rest more, hustle harder. Underneath it all is a familiar story: You can’t be happy until you change.
But what if the goal wasn’t to eliminate the difficult parts of our experience? What if we could hold the pleasant and the painful at the same time—without labeling either as good or bad? This is at the heart of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT). Grounded in mindfulness and behavior change, ACT offers a way to create meaningful movement in our lives while also making room for what’s already here.
Here’s why that matters:
When we feel unhappy with aspects of our lives, we often respond with avoidance, distraction, or quick problem-solving. Take the example of someone with social anxiety who declines an invitation because the thought of being judged feels overwhelming. In the moment, avoidance works—the anxiety decreases. But over time, it narrows life. Avoidance trades long-term meaning for short-term relief.
Paradoxically, the path to a more fulfilling 2026 may start with relating to our thoughts differently, rather than trying to force them away. Accepting that thoughts and emotions come and go—and that we don’t need to treat them as commands—opens the door to more flexible, values-guided living.
Below are three practices you can try this week to begin relating to your thoughts in a more helpful and grounded way:
1. Create space between you and your thoughts.
A simple way to do this is by adding a phrase before a difficult thought:
“I’m having the thought that…”
or
“I’m noticing I’m having the thought that…”
If you’re thinking, “I’m fat,” shifting it to “I’m noticing I’m having the thought that I’m fat” changes the relationship. Instead of feeling like an absolute truth, the thought becomes an experience your mind is generating—one of many. Creating this distance often softens the emotional impact and helps you see the thought more clearly.
2. Thank your mind.
When you catch your mind spiraling into worry or rumination, try acknowledging it:
“Thanks, mind. I know you’re trying to protect me.”
This simple pause can interrupt self-judgment and redirect you back to the present moment. Our minds are wired to anticipate danger, replay past mistakes, and prepare for every possible outcome. Instead of battling your thoughts, you can recognize this intention, express gratitude, and gently reorient to what’s actually in front of you.
3. Return to your values.
Values are the qualities that give direction to how we want to live—like connection, curiosity, compassion, or integrity. Unlike goals, values aren’t achieved; they’re lived.
If you value building relationships but avoid social situations because of anxiety, ask yourself:
“Am I willing to feel some discomfort if it moves me toward what matters?”
Values-based living often requires stepping toward what feels meaningful rather than away from what feels uncomfortable. The more we practice this, the more aligned and grounded our lives tend to feel.
The inner battle with our thoughts only grows when we engage in it. But when we allow thoughts to come and go—without fighting or obeying them—we create space for presence, choice, and meaning. The future we imagine becomes available now.
Wishing you a grounded, present, and values-led start to the new year.
